New Culture Of Dating

I would like to disclose first of all that this article is mostly concentrated on the gay dating scene because that’s what I understand the most. I cannot write from any other perspective than my own and I hope that this doesn’t disillusion you from hearing me out.

I think the real differences between straight and gay dating are so slim that they’re hardly noticed. On the other hand, there’s an obvious obsession in disconnecting the similarities between us and concentrating on exemplifying what makes us different.

“You would not after all, if you met someone in a coffee shop, show them a nude pic or ask ‘are you a top?’. Grindr has made this a worryingly common online convention of gay dating. This is linked to recent evidence that argues that gay men have been ‘dehumanised’ by apps such as Grindr and Scruff. Instead of seeing them as potential partners of even ‘human’ the perception shifts to men as ‘virtual sex bots’…

The concept of Grindr, and other male dating or hook-up apps, are theoretically unethical. While not necessarily demeaning the value of sex as others have suggested, they demean the value of love, affect modern perceptions of homosexuality, can be seen to dehumanise homosexual men and have led to pertinent problems in how we define homosexuality. But this, for many, will not be enough. Theory is good, but surely it’s OK in practice? What really is so wrong about Grindr “in the real world”? That is left to be seen.”

“One emerging trend is for profiles to denote the kind of men users want to contact, using phrases such as “No Asians”, “No Blacks” or “No Over 25s” to become commonplace. Sex-expert Samantha Allen said that:

“If you’re a gay man, phrases like ‘no blacks’ and ‘no Asians’ aren’t just words that you’d find on old signs in a civil rights museum, they are an unavoidable and current feature of your online dating experience. This form of ‘Grindr’ speech has virtually crippled the self-esteem of many of these popular hookup app’s users.” (It’s simply sexual racism.)

Grindr’s response to such a worry is that expressions such as “No Asians” denotes a preference, rather than a racist slur, and the app’s creator, Joel Simkhai, said: “It isn’t his job to police such things”…

Evidence from a new leading Australian study, which correlated survey results from Grindr with our natural QDI (Quick Discrimination Index), found that:

“Racial discrimination on gay dating apps can be attributed to racist attitudes and not, as so many maintain, to benign aesthetic preferences. Sexual racism, it turns out, is probably just plain old racism disguised in the language of desire.” (Dr Denton Callender)

This seems to show that such expressions, as Allen believes, are fundamentally racist: they pretend to have a different agenda but are really the racism of the 1950s and 1960s re-introduced…

Grindr as an idea, or concept, works well. It provides a basis for gay men to meet other like-minded people and date. In theory, it should be a ‘safe space’; but on theoretical and practical grounds it is actually grossly ethically questionable. It dehumanises gay men, challenges the value of dating, love and the definition of homosexuality, and allows racism, pimping and sexual harassment.

It would be my recommendation, despite its usage as a place to meet gay friends and sexual partners, that Grindr be removed; that is, unless, the apps creators and moderators begin to police it more efficiently and more is done to present it as what it actually is. The question then becomes: would it all be too little, too late? Perhaps Grindr has already established itself as the paradigm of modern sexual immorality.”

This author is very interesting, check out his other articles.

“Anyone who uses social media has been somewhat limited by the nature of engagement. But whereas Facebook at least requires at least a sense of transparency and accountability, apps like Grindr allow the user to operate under the guise of anonymity. This, unfortunately, plays into a darker side of our psyche that takes an unfiltered and inhumane approach to human interaction, where the user treats other users like players in a sexual video game.

While at a work meeting or getting a coffee, one person can practically annihilate another’s self-esteem. This because vulgarity, rudeness, and all-out prejudice thinly veiled under the pretense of “honesty” has sadly become the status quo. A user often forgets that there is a person behind the torso picture. This casual daily phenomenon has led many people to be saddened by the state of gay culture and the humanity of the modern gay man.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s